Anger
When I grew up, there was a time where I got very angry. Not angry on someone or something specific. Angry with the world. My parents told me, that this was a clear sign of my puberty kicking in full swing. They told me, that I'll become rebellious and will try to stem against the mainstream. Of course I dismissed that as an ol' folks lecture.... and became rebellious. I drove anything that had two wheels and an engine (finally a fast motorbike) and my leather suite became my second skin. As an IBM intern I was wearing espadrilles explaining the customers it is to avoid static electricity
Later I learned, that this anger would cede once adulthood has been achieved. So now, 25 years later, I have to ask myself: did I miss it? I'm perceived as very calm, patient, listening, but under the hood that anger never stopped boiling.Rather than fading away the anger became more specific, sharper. I'm angry when I encounter ignorance. I'm angry when I see suffering. And I'm angry if I don't achieve for myself what I wanted (stupid little things like: getting up earlier, working out more or eating more healthy). So do I have to conclude: I didn't grow up?
I see my anger both as a thread and as a source of power. What concerns me: how can I manage it? So I asked the question to the universe and it answered with a book by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Let us see where it goes.
Later I learned, that this anger would cede once adulthood has been achieved. So now, 25 years later, I have to ask myself: did I miss it? I'm perceived as very calm, patient, listening, but under the hood that anger never stopped boiling.Rather than fading away the anger became more specific, sharper. I'm angry when I encounter ignorance. I'm angry when I see suffering. And I'm angry if I don't achieve for myself what I wanted (stupid little things like: getting up earlier, working out more or eating more healthy). So do I have to conclude: I didn't grow up?
I see my anger both as a thread and as a source of power. What concerns me: how can I manage it? So I asked the question to the universe and it answered with a book by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Let us see where it goes.
Posted by Stephan H Wissel on 10 December 2003 | Comments (3) | categories: After hours